Self consciousness

Does anybody else have such heightened self consciousness that they are watchful of every single thing they do or say? Like you get so fully aware of every gesture you make, every word you say and how you pronounce it. You suddenly begin to sort of like dislike the way you speak and hear a whispering voice at the back of your head telling you to tone it down a bit.

You wanna know what actually sucks? It’s the fact that it contradicts what i believe in. I believe that we ought to let our lights shine extremely bright. I believe that we shouldn’t be afraid that our lights are too bright for the next person. We shouldn’t be toning down or dimming those lights. We gotta let those little lanterns shine!

I’m dimming my own light. My self consciousness can’t have it too bright. It’s causing me to be very self judgemental.

It’s like i’m fighting against myself and that kind of war has no winner.