Social anxiety

It’s in the amount of attention that I pay to criticism,

In the rate at which negative comments sink in,

Just the thought of voicing my thoughts in a group gets my heart racing,

It’s in how much I worry about what the next person is gonna think or say,

Just hearing those things feels like a bee’s sting,

It lies in the fear of speaking my mind even though I know that it is right,

The power I render to my pen and paper….

It’s like I could write about anything at all that I wish I could share confidently,

I want it to go away so bad,

I want my heart to keep beating normally anytime I think of saying something in a group,

I want my hands to stop sweating and shaking the way they do,

I want that fear to stop raging in my gut,

I wanna speak my mind without giving a damn about what the next person is gonna say or think…

God knows I try so hard not to have an emotional reaction to everything being said about me,

All I want is to stop being sensitive to nay sayers.